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The Mayor of Bayswater, He has a lovely daughter, And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe, Hang down to her knees. |
Chorus: And the hairs, and the hairs, And the hairs on her dicky-di-doe, Hang down to her knees. One black one, one white one, And one with a bit of shite on, And the hairs on her dicky-di-doe, Hang down to her knees. |
VERSES:
I've smelt it, I've felt it,
It's just like a bit of velvet.
I could not believe my eyes,
When I peered down between her thighs.
I she were my daughter,
I'd have her cut them shorter.
I've seen it, I've seen it,
I've lain right in between it.
I stroked 'em and poked 'em,
I rolled 'em and smoked 'em.
You'd need a coal miner,
To find her vagina.
She lives on the mountain,
and pees like a bloody fountain.
She stayed on a cattle ranch,
And came like a bloody avalanche.
She says she is not a whore,
But she bangs like a shithouse door.
She lives on malted milkshake,
And roots like a bloody rattlesnake.
She married an Italian,
With balls like a fucking stallion.
She divorced the Italian,
And married the stallion.
She married a Spaniard,
With a prick like a bloody lanyard.
She divorced the Spaniard,
And ran off with the bloody lanyard.
The split of her beaver,
Looks just like June Cleaver's.
She slept with a demon,
Who drowned her with semen.
Her cat's name is Boris,
And it plays with her clitoris.
The aroma it lingers,
It smells like fish fingers.
She sat on the waterfront,
With the waves lapping up and down her cunt.
I've licked it and kissed it,
It tastes like a chocolate biscuit.
You can drive a Morris Minor,
Right up her vagina.
It was always hit-or-miss,
Whether I could find her clitoris.
She went to Arabia,
And got camel drool on her labia.
She stayed in Seattle,
And went down on cattle.
The light is so glitorous,
When it shines off her clitoris.
Her vagina was squishy,
And smelled a bit fishy.
She went with a Hash House Harrier,
Who fucked her but wouldn't marry her.
She slept with a Hash House Harriette,
Who played melodies upon her clit.
She wooed the Grand Master,
But he couldn't satisfy her.
Grand Mattress gave her a go,
She used an electric dildo.
Three Joint Masters did sport in concert,
But they couldn't reach her G-spot.
She went out with the RA,
But he proved to be a lousy lay.
She seduced the Song Master,
But he couldn't outlast her.
Hare Raiser did sleep with her,
But got all tangled in her fur.
The hares swived her with great intent,
But they soon were limp and spent.
She depantsed the OnSec,
And scoffed at his tiny dick.
She rogered the Hash Scribe,
And begat an entire tribe.
She stripped for the Biermeister,
He shot off all over her.
Hash Shyster did groan, oh,
As he serviced her pro bono.
She gave head to the Hash Cash,
And he ejaculated in a flash.
The Chipmeister she tried to lay,
But he came during foreplay.
She mooned the Haberdasher,
Who fainted at the sight of her.
An SCB dove in her muff,
But found he hadn't tongue enough.
She said to the FRB,
"Do it doggie style with me."
The walkers were red and sore,
She shagged them right across the floor.
She had it off with a Ranger,
But he went DOT inside of her.
To a Whiner she took a shiner,
But he cried, "Any one but her."
She took on the entire pack,
She was hot but they were slack.
She was brisk with young ZiPpy,
But he came much too quickly.
So she tried Flying Booger,
But he couldn't get it up for her.
She had group sex with the Circle,
Next day our parts turned purple.
(last
sentences: And one with a tiny light on to show us the way)