And the Hares ...

 

 

The Mayor of Bayswater,

He has a lovely daughter,

And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,

Hang down to her knees.

Chorus:

And the hairs, and the hairs,

And the hairs on her dicky-di-doe,

Hang down to her knees.

One black one, one white one,

And one with a bit of shite on,

And the hairs on her dicky-di-doe,

Hang down to her knees.

 

VERSES:

I've smelt it, I've felt it,

It's just like a bit of velvet.

And the hairs

I could not believe my eyes,

When I peered down between her thighs.

And the hairs

I she were my daughter,

I'd have her cut them shorter.

And the hairs

I've seen it, I've seen it,

I've lain right in between it.

And the hairs

I stroked 'em and poked 'em,

I rolled 'em and smoked 'em.

And the hairs

You'd need a coal miner,

To find her vagina.

And the hairs

She lives on the mountain,

and pees like a bloody fountain.

And the hairs

She stayed on a cattle ranch,

And came like a bloody avalanche.

And the hairs

She says she is not a whore,

But she bangs like a shithouse door.

And the hairs

She lives on malted milkshake,

And roots like a bloody rattlesnake.

And the hairs

She married an Italian,

With balls like a fucking stallion.

And the hairs

She divorced the Italian,

And married the stallion.

And the hairs

She married a Spaniard,

With a prick like a bloody lanyard.

And the hairs

She divorced the Spaniard,

And ran off with the bloody lanyard.

And the hairs

The split of her beaver,

Looks just like June Cleaver's.

And the hairs

She slept with a demon,

Who drowned her with semen.

And the hairs

Her cat's name is Boris,

And it plays with her clitoris.

And the hairs

The aroma it lingers,

It smells like fish fingers.

And the hairs

She sat on the waterfront,

With the waves lapping up and down her cunt.

And the hairs

I've licked it and kissed it,

It tastes like a chocolate biscuit.

And the hairs

You can drive a Morris Minor,

Right up her vagina.

And the hairs

It was always hit-or-miss,

Whether I could find her clitoris.

And the hairs

She went to Arabia,

And got camel drool on her labia.

And the hairs

She stayed in Seattle,

And went down on cattle.

And the hairs

The light is so glitorous,

When it shines off her clitoris.

And the hairs

Her vagina was squishy,

And smelled a bit fishy.

And the hairs

She went with a Hash House Harrier,

Who fucked her but wouldn't marry her.

And the hairs

She slept with a Hash House Harriette,

Who played melodies upon her clit.

And the hairs

She wooed the Grand Master,

But he couldn't satisfy her.

And the hairs

Grand Mattress gave her a go,

She used an electric dildo.

And the hairs

Three Joint Masters did sport in concert,

But they couldn't reach her G-spot.

And the hairs

She went out with the RA,

But he proved to be a lousy lay.

And the hairs

She seduced the Song Master,

But he couldn't outlast her.

And the hairs

Hare Raiser did sleep with her,

But got all tangled in her fur.

And the hairs

The hares swived her with great intent,

But they soon were limp and spent.

And the hairs

She depantsed the OnSec,

And scoffed at his tiny dick.

And the hairs

She rogered the Hash Scribe,

And begat an entire tribe.

And the hairs

She stripped for the Biermeister,

He shot off all over her.

And the hairs

Hash Shyster did groan, oh,

As he serviced her pro bono.

And the hairs

She gave head to the Hash Cash,

And he ejaculated in a flash.

And the hairs

The Chipmeister she tried to lay,

But he came during foreplay.

And the hairs

She mooned the Haberdasher,

Who fainted at the sight of her.

And the hairs

An SCB dove in her muff,

But found he hadn't tongue enough.

And the hairs

She said to the FRB,

"Do it doggie style with me."

And the hairs

The walkers were red and sore,

She shagged them right across the floor.

And the hairs

She had it off with a Ranger,

But he went DOT inside of her.

And the hairs

To a Whiner she took a shiner,

But he cried, "Any one but her."

And the hairs

She took on the entire pack,

She was hot but they were slack.

And the hairs

She was brisk with young ZiPpy,

But he came much too quickly.

And the hairs

So she tried Flying Booger,

But he couldn't get it up for her.

And the hairs

She had group sex with the Circle,

Next day our parts turned purple.

And the hairs

 (last sentences: And one with a tiny light on to show us the way)