Run No. 344 on the 14th of October 2007

Hares: 2nd Cumin' Venue: Stuttgart Hauptbahnhof
So, where was I?? Oh yeah, the Canstatter Inaugural Volksfest Hash Hangover Run...
 
A veritable plethora of Hung-over Hashers arrived at what is apparently the least intuitive place in the world to meet for a Hash "the Hauptbahnhof" for Sunday's Hangover eschewing Hash. The weather was abso-fabso as the walkers and runners, in the spirit of unity, partook of the self-same trail that Likk'mm and your humble scribe set, with a leedle help from Starbucks. We saw churches, fountains, rathauses, museums, castles old and new, and a museum or two. After that cultural extravaganza, we then invaded a grassy knoll behind the planetarium to discuss world peace through Bloody Mary's...Yet another shite trail, thanks!!
 
Pole Dancer, Old Leaky Dick and Just Roger were immediately violated for drunken bench jumping the night before (someone could have lost an eye...); Side Winder and Doggy Style were also brought in for eye-endangering-behavior, specifically, moving furniture with ones head while intoxicated (Tempting the Fates, you are!!). Once again Maybe Dick couldn't manage to find the Hash on time and was violated whilst Just Jake did his best teapot imitation (come on in, here's your down-down). African Swallow was violated for having Hash Marks on her neck...and when one Hickey Chick drinks...well, you know...
 
Side Winder, not having lived dangerously enough, was again called in for defying gravity and causing a table dancing injury to herself the night before. Maybe Dick was tapped again for being a paranoid wank and calling the bomb squad to dispose of the hash goody bags. All Vegetarians (are born illegitimate) were called in to explain how chicken is a vegetable...Automatic Balls cleared that right up by explaining that as long as you wear protection, you can eat the chicken. Teacher's Pet was offered two tasty down-downs, one for paying for Mass, when he had a free token in his pocket and one for thieving other people's Masses when he had that same token in that same pocket. *Sigh...some people's Kids* But wait, TP, don't go yet!! He and BeerBra were called in for violating the belly buttons of civilians (although BeerBra swears she was just 'holding her head' We like to call that aiding and abetting where I come from).
 
*NOTE: This is about the time I discovered the Bloody Mary's...it's all a bit fuzzy and tomato covered from here on in...*
 
Pole Dancer was sited for his abhorrent parenting skills as he lost Just Jake (well, he didn't really 'lose' him, as he was passed out by the garage door). I. B. Strokin' was called in for laying around and Likk'mm and yours truly were supplied a tasty gulp of beer for hanging out in the ladies room...(Hej, I could be a lady if I wanted to). Hummingbird was shunned for premature evacuation (she had a train to catch). Baggy Snatch and 1/2 Monty were called in for their amazing rugby prowess and got to stay in as participants in Strip Poker...(which consisted of 4 Harriettes and 1/2 Monty...good job, Mister!)
 
*NOTE: It seems there was more Bloody Mary drinking...I can't be responsible for what I write from here on out...I blame society*
 
Erm, Mr. Slippy Fist was violated for something long (that's what the book says...) and for being ejected from at least 6 different taxi's the previous night. Pole Dancer, Dutchy and Shut Up And Bend Over were called in for being excellent beer meisters. Just Colin (the pumple thief) and I. B. Strokin' were called in for something heinous...(it looks like puppies and jacks...but that can't be it...can it??) The Yellow Tag Liberation Front were called in for infringing upon our 2014 plans (seriously). Likk'mm wants you all to go to Swiss Nash Hash 2008. BeerBra was pimpin' the Rhine Nekkid Hash.
 
*NOTE: Boo Boo is running the Nike Women's Marathon for the benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Societies. You suck if you don't give her lots of money. Yes, I mean you. Here is the website: http://www.harrier.eu.org/booboo/ go give Boo Boo money now, I'll wait...thanks*
 
Pole Dancer was violated for being a mashouf Bloody Mary STUD *woo hoo* and 2 Bit Slit and Mr. Slippy Fist were violated for Secret Foot Stuff (I swear that's what the notes say...). Rumple 4Skin, Pole Dancer and Shut Up and Bend Over drank for an icky love fest. 2 Bit was brought back in for habla-ing with the Italian Mob. Likk'mm and Sidewinder found themselves back in the circle for big upping Puyallup. TP reported back in for stealing the...erm...tickle toy AND the remote (Note, apparently if a dude sits on his hand until it goes to sleep then...forget it...) MaBousch was invited to drink for marrying Trash Can Man, Just Roger for being 'practically' a virgin (he's also a little bit pregnant), the Belgians for e-baying their country.
 
*NOTE: Appears that now I'm just drunk AND attempting to write...it's like a train wreck*
 
2 Bit loped back into the circle for something having to do with sexing up behind the bahnhof while Yark Sucker and TP drank for either being suckers for belly buttons, sucking belly buttons or suckling from belly buttons. All Hashers wearing matching clothing were called in, followed by all the Hashers who were not matching. TP and Lonely Brain Cell drank for some issue involving either Candy or Scandinavians (Swedes or Sweets). Dog Biscuit and Sidewinder were violated for having chicken hats in places chicken hats were never meant to be...then back on their heads. Automatic Balls and African Swallow got a lil ole down-down for being overachievers it appears a whole slew of folks (Sidewinder, Rumple, Horny Rubble and Lonely Brain Cell) did something that had to do with Moon Landings...or something...
 
*NOTE: It's just best to stop trying to scribe here...my boss just looked at my notes, all covered in tomato juice and vodka, and had that "why DO I pay you?" Look on his face...
 
In Naming News: Congratulations Just Roger...in the Name of the Hash, in the Name of St. Gispert, in the state of Inebriation, you will now and forever more be known as "Radical Thespian, XIV" (Not really, just until we come up with something better!)
 
*WHEW* That was a long circle up! After which we all curled up in sun beams and tried to nap off our Blood Mary side effects, only to be drawn to the Bier Garten down the hill for more amber nektar of the Gods. Quite possibly the best Canstatter Inaugural Volkfest Hash ever!!

Run No. 342 & 343 on the 12th and 13th of October 2007

Hares: Anal Recreation, Peeping Tom, Horny Rubble & 2nd Cumin' Venue: Stuttgart

Canstatter Inaugural Volksfest Hash - Oi Oi Oi
 
Once upon a time there was a little hamlet in Lower Swabia where lived gentle hashers from all over Europe and the rest of the world. One day they decided to invite their Hash brethren to drink great big old beers with them in a beer tent: Here's what happened:
 
Friday we all met up at COC@Inn where Anal Recreation and Peeping Tom plied us with loads of Newcastle Nut Brown Ale, then took us to the Troll, for more beer, to the heights of Stuttgart for shots (male and female) and to a Russian/Balkan flair pub to enjoy vodka shots with pickles...**ASIDE: It's slowly becoming clear to me why I totally felt like ASS Saturday, but I digress** before leading us back to COC for a rousing round of violations and yet more beer. In between beers and shots we all got a chance to chat each other up, stare each other down, and get our little groove on. Hurrah, it was shite!!
 
Saturday morning found hares Horny Rubble and your gentle scribe feeling a little worse for wear, but ready to punish our leg muscles with the same ferocity we punished our livers the night before. We're a little masochistic, but we're sociable! Hoards of hashers converged upon Rumple Kastell for pastries and Champaign to fuel up for a run that, I believe was called Majestic, Amazing, Fabulous and Just Really Damn Good **WHAT?? You didn't hear that?? I heard that!** An unbroken string of shite runs!!
 
Blue Moon, our usual RA let Rumple relive his glory days and it went a little something like this:
 
Teacher's Pet and Superman were violated for dissing Chez Hickey Chick in favor of staying in a hotel together **Don't ask, Don't tell, little hashers** TP got to stay in the circle for being a great big old loser and leaving his 'goody bag' at COC *you'd lose your head...HEAD? WHO SAID HEAD??* Likk'mm was asked not to crush the down-down cups on his head and was given a tough and sturdy plastic cup, which he immediately crushed on his head. Just Jake was given a tasty down-down for forgetting he wasn't a virgin anymore *it happens*. Likk'mm gave a dissertation auf deutsch, which I'm sure would have changed all our lives, if only we knew what the hell he was talking about.
 
A Peeping Tom stand in was called in due to PT's admission the night before that he had no idea where the hell the trail went. Doggie Style was called in for being coordinated right down to her dickey dido and Viagra Falls was violated for being a drrty old man role model, which quickly turned into a 'social' as all drrty old men went in for a down-down. Half Monte got a down-down for someone else's lost property (flip flops with a bottle opener on the bottom, that Margaritaville guys would be so proud). Horny Rubble and Maybe Dick were awarded root beer down-downs for leaving Germany in favor of the US. Pole Dancer was rousted 'round for buying American/German beer (ain't you guys seen his tat? He's all FOR Germany/American cooperation!!)
 
Your humble scribe was awarded a pen/bottle opener from Frankfurt while 2 Bit was having phone sex (drink it down down down). Dog Biscuit pissed on trail, Just Jake vandalized a railing and Teacher's Pet and Likk'mm were brought in for Resisting Registration and generally being lost like farts in a whirlwind. Automatic Balls got a CD for being open minded, I. B. Strokin' was awarded a butterfly...erm...uh...tickle toy, Beer Bra showed up late, as did Maybe Dick (but, unlike MD, she found Rumple Kastell's hole on the first try). Mama Bear got a tasty down down for making Rumple wait, but still satisfying him. Finally, squatters, Hickey Chick, Superman and Blue Moon were invited to get off their lazy asses and drink.
 
Hashy Birthday - Fuck You!! to Mr. Slippy Fist, Beer Bra and Likk'mm.
 
After the circle, we dragged the party down to the Volksfest!!
 
Wanna know more?? Stay tuned for Hang Over Hash Trash!!!
 
Almost The End...

Run No. 341 on the 23rd of September 2007

Hares: Horny Rubble & 2nd Cumin' Venue: Sindelfingen Freibad
What a freaking gorgeous day for a Hash Sunday was as 18 Hashers converged on Sindelfingen with visions of beer and chili dancing in their heads. Hares Horny Rubble and Yours Truly laid a magnificent trail through shiggy and stinging nettles and s'more shiggy...ah, the mere memory of that trail brings a tear to the eye and a burn to the shin. There was an eclectic mix of Sarajevo and Stuttgart Hash Trail Markings and every now and then, a powder ball got away...it was said to be too sunny, too warm, just basically too shite, hurrah!!
We had returnees, dontcha know: Rumple4Skin, Yark Sucka, and Pink Fritzy graced us with their presence (but NO presents...) as they returned from illnesses, Belgium, broken bones and wacations. Welcome back...you can bring our presents to the next hash...
We had Milestones (which are preferable to kidney stones or one of the Rolling Stones trying to slip you the tongue, but I digress):
Dutchy turned 100 (wow, you look great...for a foreigner)
Blow Job (our very own terrorista) turned 85
Pink Fritz turned 80 (spry guy!)
Running Pampers turned 30 (AND got renamed...wait for it...)
Rumple Foreskin and your humble scribe both turned 10! (We're fraternal hash twins)
Hey, Milestones, GET A FEKKIN' LIFE and congratulations!
On On to violations!!
Dutchy was violated for giving us warm beer (thank HEAVEN it wasn't for giving us NO beer!!); Blow Job and a Maybe Dick stand-in (Horny Rubble...when one hare drinks all hares drink) were provided a tasty warm down down for terrorist activities involving canvas bags, sketchy notes and police intervention (good attention, bad attention, it's ALL attention!!); Just Torbin and Lazy Daisy were violated for what appears to be 'tru luv' (the whole hearts and flowers and butterflies in your stomach variety) and the Harriettes *swooned* AGAIN as Just Torbin sang "It's So Easy To Say Hello"! Yark and Rumple were shamed for showing up late (we're calling it a "traffic jam" this week...snigger); Running Pampers, fresh out of said pampers has been renamed Manneke Piss (now THAT'S a milestone!!); Yark was again violated for allowing her country of occupation to be sold on e-bay; and Dutchy wound it up for finding non existant flour on the trail (freaky-deaky Dutch!!)
Afterward we all retired to Chez Horny for tasty and delightful Texas Chili and Frito Pie, pineapple (courtesy of Wild and Lame Pussy Cat) and some Hash chat.  Oh the sweet smell of success (or was that smell due to the chili??) 
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Dudes, sign up to Hare.  If you don't you'll be designated as a Hare. Don't be stubborn, the deities don't like stubborn.
Seriously, stop mucking about and sign up for the Stuttgart Volksfest Hash if you haven't already.  http://www.swh3.org/
Stuttgart is THE PLACE TO BE IN 2010!! We're bidding for the German NASH HASH. Yeah, we Rock!!

Run No. 340 on the 9th of September 2007

Hares: Maybe Dick & Stimulate Her Venue: Stuttgart Degerloch
As if we needed further proof that most deities Hash, the weather Sunday was the perfect mix of sun and breeze, keeping our gentle hashers cool in the sun and warm in the shiggy...and shiggy there was!! Ah, another shite trail in our string of shite trails...
14 Hashers joined Maybe Dick and Stimulate Her for a farewell Hash and BBQ On In. We circled up by a big rock someone from Chile brought to Stuttgart. We don't know why they brought a rock, but seriously, what have YOU taken to Chile lately? Maybe you deserve a big rock.
Aside: Must've been back in the good ole days when you could carry a big rock on a plane and not get a fully cavity search:::
Anyhoo: The run was chock full of drama and the human condition. For Example:
We commenced to running up, up, up into the woods above Degerloch where Blue Moon met the two crankiest biotches in Germany. They wanted us to not make marks on the ground. Blue Moon said he wanted a kiss. Cranky Biotch was having none of that and told Blue Moon she wished we'd be quite. Blue Mood said he wished she was a happier person. SMACK DOWN!! Blue Moon 1, Cranky Biotch 0.
We had a wee Virgin in our midst! Just Torben is visiting Viagra Falls and One Hot Mama. He sang us a little song and all the Harriettes swooned *swoon* Lazy Daisy and Running Pampers were glad for the stimulating new company and now the Horror's numbers are starting to challenge our own! Oh the humanity!!
We also had a new cummer!! Hurrah for new meat! It was one Fire Crotch (named due to hair color or unwise sexual choices? Only time will tell!). He cums to us from Germany via India (long way to go just to find the Hash, but well worth it, I am certain!). He made himself cum. (You'll go BLIND I say!!) He told us a joke in lieu of showing us a body part...it wasn't very good...it was about the Austrian Flag...I should have paid more attention...eh...Welcome Fire Crotch!!
And on-on to the violations (nominations? VIOLATIONS!!):
Blue Mood violated everyone from the UK (or who's had a little Brit in 'em) for the blatant LIES told by a team of researchers from that windswept isle. Seems they thing that a football fan can burn more calories WATCHING a soccer game than during sex. Obviously they are doing it wrong. Poor Limeys...
Stimulate Her was violated for having the sheer audacity to leave us to go back to his "family" and "dog"; for laying (hee hee) a trail through the "Woods of Love" that exposed us to a veritable plethora of condom carnage; for being here for 10 runs, two of which he HARED (over achieving bastage); AND for endangering the health and welfare of my finger. (He's a biggun, I don't even think he had a buzz!!)
Other overachievers punished with cups of foamy happiness: Maybe Dick and One Hot Mama, for being the first to pay for the Volkfest Hash Weekend...more on that later!!
Viagra Falls drank for Colin the Pumpel Thief for, well, stealing the pumpel...keep up!
Dutchy tried to explain the new Hash rules to us...failed and DRANK!
Fire Crotch was tripled up on for having to have his socks labeled L and R; taking three weeks to 'find the Hash'; and being so obviously confused as to whether he's German or Irish...(even the flight attendant knew he was Irish...why deny your heritage, Foyah?)
Never Rest was shamed for losing control of Running Pampers stroller on the walkers trail AND spilling his beer in the rescue effort...two tragedies in one!!
Finally, the Hares were given an appreciatory down-down by yours truly for running us through not one, but TWO football games, where I was shocked and awed by hot dudes in short shorts...I mean...the sports prowess of the Swabians...
We closed our circle and commenced to eat and drink in honor of our (almost) dearly departed Stimulate Her. The food did flow and the beer did...well, flow, too...and later there were shots...Hurrah!!!
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
WHO IS HARING NEXT SUNDAY?  You better just tell me...ve haff vays of makink you talk...
Munich HHH Oktoberfest Hash
Date: 28th - 30th September 2007
Friday night, city run onto a wild party with beer.. and ...
Saturday country run and ON IN to the Oktoberfest with more beer
Sunday hangover run and to clear that empty feeling .. more beer .
Price: None of the VAT TAX increases for this years hashers - only YOU will be taxed (to keep up with the party!) http://www.munich-h3.com
Stuttgart HHH Volksfest Hash
Quit being a Dick and sign up for the Volksfest Hash...Oops. I mean: Don’t forget to sign up for our very own Volksfest Hash. There will be beer and chicken and beer and visiting hashers who don't know you OR your reputation and beer...don't make us talk poop about your junk for not cumin'!! http://www.swh3.org/
Halloween 2007 in Transylvania at the "Postavarul" Carpathian Mountain Cottage
26 – 28th October 2007 This cottage is not a hotel and does not have a *** rating, but it is clean and towels are provided. Most of the rooms do not have showers, but they are located close to the rooms. Transylvanian-German food (plus Nürnberger sausages after the run on Saturday), transport from Pioana Brasov to the cottage by 4-wheel drive on private road will be provided, transport from Bucharest upon request. There is room for 50+ hashers...rooms allocated on a first come first served basis. http://groups.google.com/group/Hash-House-Harriers-Bucharest,
Scandi-Jock Weak End
25 Apr 08
We have booked an entire, small hostel, all 41 beds, so numbers are limited
What's included and what's going to happen:
* Arrival and reggo at the hostel from 16:00 Friday.
* Hostel accomodation two nights. Breakfast, sheets and towel are included. Accomodation in bunkbed rooms.
* Friday 19:00 - Welcome beer provided by the mismanagement at the Ox
* Friday Night Pubcrawl and food at own expense. There might be a few more freebie beers on the way; depends on how much is left after paying most things off, but the aim is to use every resource left over for as much beer as possible.
* Saturday - breakfast served between 08:00 - 10:00. Run starting at 14:00. Packed lunch will be provided, plus drinkstops with a few surprises and all the beer you can drink.
* 19:00 - Dinner at Dovas City. We will have the whole upstairs section to ourselves. Several beers plus a choice of meat, fish or weggie meal included. When the beertokens run out Norrlands Guld on 50cl bottles are sold for SEK30 each. Murphy's Irish Red and Murphy's Stout sold at SEK45 for a pint, so prices are good!
* Sunday - breakfast 08:00 - 10:00, checkout by 11:00. Hangover run with beerstop and circle. On - In at suitable pub.
Cost including accomodation:  SEK1,000 in bunkbed room.
We also have one triple - bedded room and three rooms with a double bed. To cover cost these will be SEK1,200/ person if booked beforehand or if we run out of space in the larger rooms.
If you don't want the acommodation we can offer the local hashers the package above including t-shirt for SEK600. Please note that you have to register even without accomodation,as we have limited space at the venue Saturday night.
Contact Junior Turd e-mail: junior.turd@invernessh3.se, Floater, floater@invernessh3.se,    

Run No. 339 on the 26th of August 2007

Hares: Horny Rubble & 2nd Cumin'
The Anthrax and Virus Hash
It was a glorious Summer Day as 13 Gentle Hashers converged on that holiest of downtown landmarks, the Feuersee to run one of (if not THE most) AMAZING, Fabulous, and just all around great trails ever to be laid in Stuttgart. (That's what happens when you don't ask the Hashers what they thought of the trail and the Scribe/Co-Hare has to make it up...)
Where was I...oh...yea! Horny Rubble and yours truly took time out of our busy weekend of partying like rocks stars with new livers to set a short, but oh, so masochistic trail suitable for r*nners (like Dutchy, Blue Moon, Just Jens, Just Colin, Stimulate Her, Maybe Dick) and wankers (Running Pampers, Just Eunice, Twin Peaks, Never Rest, One Hot Mama and Viagra Falls) alike! Astounding! All were kept together by an amazing use of limp arrows, holds and check-back 15s. There was a naturally occurring beer stop, as found in nature, and views of topless teen boys skate boarding (what?? WHAT???).
We began our circle by welcoming our virgin, Just Eunice from England. She's super cute, Twin Peaks and Never Rest made her cum (it's a family affair, doncha know). We were later joined by yet another virgin (Just Tim from Ohidaho) who followed the trail after showing up late then showed us his ass. Hooray for Virgins. Nuff said!
We also welcomed back returnee Just Jens. He was off studying for his Doctorate in something. Check out the brain on Jens! Welcome Back!!
(By this point, your scribe has had a few down-downs for perceived rule breaking and my notes aren't the best...for example, I know that Never Rest, Blue Moon and Horny Rubble had a down-down...but I don't remember why...*sigh*)
MILESTONES!!! Maybe Dick with 25 runs, Never Rest with 55 runs and Viagra Falls with an amazing 110 runs!! Wauw...getalifegetalifegetalifelifelife...
In Exciting Pumple News: Stimulate Her was able to unload the legendary Pumple onto Just Colin, for the crime of trying to poison the Stuttgart Hash House Harriers in an evil attempt to take all the beer for himself. Hmmm... Other possible recipients were Just Jens for not knowing the difference between boar and deer (what do they teach you at that crazy school of yours??) and Just Eunice for showing us her belly instead of her b**bs.
Violations this week included, but are not limited to: Mama Bear and Dutchy p*ssing on trail, Maybe Dick trying to buy our affections with beer (it might have worked), Dutchy for the heinous crime of putting flour in Just Eunice's hair, your gentle scribe for inappropriate head gear in the circle and a round of random down-downs for the halibut...
A NAMING!! Oh joy of joys!! One of the best things about being a hasher is getting your Hash name. Some cum quicker than others, and the universe was smiling on Just Eunice yesterday, as the Stuttgart Hash House Harriers deemed it a great idea to give her a name. I missed all the alternate names (what I wrote down can't be right) but they all had to do with our Just Eunice not showing us her b**bs. SO in the name of the Hash, in the name of St. Gispert and in the State of Inebriation, she will now and forever more be known as See NO Boobs (S.N.O.B)! Hazzah!
The On After took place at O'Dooles or O' Doyles...you know, the small, cool Irish Pub where there were beers, fish and chips, beers, cheeseburgers and beers.  YUMMY!
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Next Hash will be hosted by Maybe Dick and Stimulate Her. Meet up at the Weinsteige S-Bahn stop. There will be a BBQ On After at Maybe Dick's. Stimulate Her will inventory his meat. ;)
This weekend is a four day weekend for many who work on the military bases. There may be a mass movement (Oui lei les papier...) to crash another neighboring Hash (Prague or Vienna or ???) drop 2nd Cumin' a note if you are interested in Road Trippin'!! SmilinKip@hotmail.com
Next Saturday there is a motion on the table (I said ON THE TABLE...NOT UNDER THE TABLE...perv) to grab a train and head to the Bad Durkheim Wine Fest in...well...in Bad Durkheim...look for notices on the group account or contact Maybe Dick.
 Don’t forget to sign up for our very own Volksfest Hash. All the cool kids are going to be there...don't make us talk poop about your junk for not cumin'!!
 Halloween 2007 in Transylvania at the "Postavarul" Carpathian Mountain Cottage26th – 28th October 2007 This cottage is not a hotel and does not have a *** rating, but it is clean and towels are provided. Most of the rooms do not have showers, but they are located close to the rooms. Transylvanian-German food (plus Nürnberger sausages after the run on Saturday), transport from Pioana Brasov to the cottage by 4-wheel drive on private road will be provided, transport from Bucharest upon request. There is room for 50+ hashers...rooms allocated on a first come first served basis. http://groups.google.com/group/Hash-House-Harriers-Bucharest
On On! 2nd

Run No. 338 on the 12th of August 2007

Hares: Dutchy & Bubble Bitch 
The Kiwi Crash Hash
Oh, my, you have one lazy ass scribe...first I don't even show up for a month, THEN it takes me two weeks to write the trash...pitiful...
At any rate, here's all the scribble I can decipher...
It was a lovely Autumn day (Hey, you can't call this summer, really, can you??), so Blue Moon, Viagra Falls, One Hot Mama, Rumple 4skin, Blow Job, Sole Sucker, Lazy Dazy, Puck You, Maybe Dick, Stimulate Her, Just Colin and Mama Bear decided to do what they do best every other Sunday HASH!!! Our twisted and evil hares, Dutchy and Babble Bitch has prepared us a trail that, according to my note was at the very least too flat and too short...I seem to remember a slew of nettles and two lost Front Running Bastages, countless Dutchy-Backs and a refreshing rain shower toward the end...even the angles cried at the sheer shite-ness of our latest Hash...an unbroken streak!!
As luck would have it, we had wirgins AND visitors. Sing choirs of angels!! Just Katie is married to Just Colin (who supposedly makes her cum) and Lay Me and Leg Up were here visiting from the Otha-Down-Unda, New Zealand!! Just Katie read us an international joke and Lay Me and Leg Up provided entertainment in the form of Maori War Dancing. Dudes, we are SOOOOO cultured in this Hash!! Welcome Just Katie, Lay Me and Leg Up!!
Returnees included Just Colin (well, he WAS busy trying to make Just Katie cum), Blow Job, Rumple 4skin and your humble scribe. Welcome back!!
Milestones for Hash #339 are Lazy Dazy at 20 (she doesn’t look a day over 7!!), One Hot Mama at 120 (She doesn’t look a day over 20!!) and Mama Bear at 190 (OUTSTANDING!!!) Get a Life, you wankers!
And the violations began! Lay Me and Maybe Dick were violated for watering the trail (a pissing contest?), Stimulate Her and One Hot Mama has the audacity to have Hashy Birthdays (fuck you), Stimulate Her caused a kafuffle over the pumple and whether or not it is carried through out the run or just warn as a lovely accessory to your hash gear after the run, (He'll be demonstrating the running with it theory this week...that's how it happens when you whinge), Babble Bitch, Sole Sucker, Viagra Falls, Just Katie and yours truly were violated for something...probably something really good...I forgot to write it down...SHITTY SCRIBE I SAY!!!
We then ended up in an American style eatery, which served portions SO BIG that we were all practically super-sized! There were rounds bought by Lay Me for everyone at the table, plates of chip big enough to build scale models of the Taj Mahal, and schnitzel big enough to feel a family of 6. Awesome!
Reminders:
12-14 Oct Stuttgart Volksfest Hash http://www.swh3.org/ Sign up now...spots are quickly going the way of the dodo, and you don't want to have to miss your OWN Inaugural, now do ya??
Hash #340 Hares: Horny Rubble and 2nd Cumin' Directions to be posted Thursday!!

Run No. 333 on the 1st of July 2007

Hares: Pink Frits & Wild Cat Venue: Filderstadt

Again I have to do double duty because 2nd Cummin could not make to the hash. She was not feeling well.
The two old men of the Hash were the hares and for some of we were expecting an easy little jaunt through the woods. But Pink Frits and Wild Cat had something else in mind. We met up at Filderstadt and about 21 hasher showed up so it was a good crowd. The usuals such Mama Bear, Sole Sucker, Never Rest, Running Pamper and myself were there. There were some first timers and some virgins. Just Collins who came last time brought two virgins Tony and Bryan the wanker. While Stimulate-Her brought a virgin Thomas. Some new hasher to attend were Pole Dancer a buddy of Rumple and Just Drew. Pole Dancer also brought his daughter Kristi and Rumple's neice Amanda. Finally after about a years absence Anal Recreation and Meow Mix made an appearence and they brought along Kostas to his very first hash. If you look at some of the pictures that Anal posted you can see he is a good looking kid. It is obvious that he got his good looks from his mothers side of the family.
The hash began with little in the way of chalk talk for the runners. Basically if we came across 4 blobs of hash we were on trail. The walkers were to follow a trail also but just in case they
got lost PF had a map for them but it was sealed in an envelope. The runner started off and immediately we knew that the old hashers layed a very shiggy trail. We went up and down the hills, across streams, through streams, into thick brush and by the time we came out many of
the runners had scrapes and cuts on our legs. Some of us such Pole Dancer were bitten by some type of insected or reacted to some of the brush. He looked as if he broke out in hives. The highlights of the run was the Schnapps stop in the stream, the history lesson of the
seven mills, and sign for beer near nowhere near the beer stop. By the time the runners made it to the beer stop we were very thirsty, tired and torn up.
Of course the walkers made it to the beer stop before us and were enjoying the refreshing beverages. After about 20 minutes of catching our breath and satisfying our thirst everybody walked back to the start point.
As for the circle Anal decided to take up his old job and lead the circle. I guess it is like riding a bike because he fell right into the job. The virgins were introduced to the hash. Thomas showed his tatoo along with Kristi. Tony and Drew told jokes. While Bryan who thoroughly enjoys playing pocket pool must have had a bit of stage fright because he could not think of a joke. So Playground had to come to his rescue by giving him a Maxim magazine and from that he read probably the worst joke ever. Wanker Boy due to his bad habit or least self satifying habit drank many a down downs. The plunger went to yours truly because I short cut during the run. I do not remember doing that but I have been known to do that in the past so drank from the plunger with pride.
The other highlights of the circle was that Pink Frits has 77 runs while Puck You has reached the awe inspiring number of 99 runs. These two must really have no life. There was one birthday and that was Blow Job's 30th and we drank champagne in celebration. As a birthday
present to herself she bought a new car. A convertible Opel Tigra in a nice aqua color which is definitely harriete car.
The on after was at a nice little place near a athletic field. We tried to eat outside but due to rain we had to move in. There were only about 10 of there the food was good and the conversation as usual was enthralling.
There was an announcement and that is concerning the Camp Out hash on the 14th and 15th. Puck You explained that on saturday there will be the first annual hash float which should be fun. Basically we run to a river get on tire tubes and float down the river and drink.
There will be plenty of food and of course beer.
That is it for this hash trash hopefully 2nd Cummin will be at the next hash. I believe she does a better job at this. Take care and until next time.

On On
Horny Rubble

Run No. 332 on the 17th of June 2007

Hares: Wild Cat & Lame Pussy Cat Venue: Weinstadt/Schorndorf

The hares for the hash were the mercedez driving couple Wild Cat and Lame Pussy Cat. It was held in some wine village north of town which was hard to find if you followed Wild Cats directions. It was a beautiful day and there was quite a crowd. We had the usual die hard hashers, some newcomers, and some virgins. Rumple brought his better half Yark Sucker plus his daughter, his neice and a buddy from work.
Playground Prowler also brought a virgin a buddy from work. And there was some hasher from some town that was 150 kilometers away from here. If you have not quessed by now I have forgotten their names.
We met at the appointed hour and then Wild Cat proceeded to give us chalk talk but it quickly broke down with us shaking our heads. He tried to explain what the EF symbol stoods for something in relation to Pink Frits. Wild Cat said we would get it when we see it. So from there we set off under the watchful eye of Wild Cat while the walkers went with Lame Pussy Cat.
As a hasher who enjoys a bit of shiggy along with Puck You we were kind suprised by the amount of shiggy that WC took us through. We actually crossed a number of streams, went up and down steep hills and ran through thick brush. Some us came out with some cuts and scraps on our legs while some of us slid down the hill and had dirt all over our butt. It was so bad that PP had to clean his short in the stream he kept telling us it was mud. He actually became quite adament about it. Now back to the EF symbol evidently E stood for the german word for an ASS so we came across a barn with an Ass in it. It was a friendly enough Ass and it did have similiar hairstyle as PF so I guess you will have to come to your own conclusions. The rest of the trail was very interesting with a water stop, checks that can only go one direction and best of all a very short second half. Overall, I give WC two thumbs up for the trail. The best part was probably when WC fell asleep at the beer stop.
The circle had it highs and lows as usual. The virgins and newcomers were introduced they sang songs, told jokes but there were no body parts. I can not remember who got the plunger but they definitely deserved it I guess. There were a number of fivers and it was Mama Bears birthday. I did forget one person who has not been to the hash in quite a while and that was non other than Twin Peaks. She came with her two boys and of course Never Rest. Let me tell you she was looking good.
The on after was at a lovely little restaurant that we actually ran by during the run. Its main feature on the menu was trout. They actually had a stream where the fish are kept and when you order fish they go out with a net and scoop one up. So you know it is very fresh fish. It was very good. We had some lively discussions but again like most of this trash I have forgotten what we discussed. So that is it.
The next hash will be near the airport because Pink Frits will be the hare.
On On
Horny Rubble

Run No. 331 on the 3rd  of June 2007

Hares: Hickey Chick & 2nd Cumin' Venue: Weil der Stadt

Run No. 330 on the 20th of May 2007

Hares: Dutchy Venue: Sindelfingen
I was asked by 2nd Cummin to write the Hash trash for last sundays hash because she was off having fun at the Sembach red dress hash.

It was a lovely day the sun was shining and the hashers met at the appoint hour at goldberg train station. Dutchy was our hare and it must be said that he did not have a co hare. We had some new comers, some long time returners and some of the usual crowd.

Geriatric Jerk Off and his beautiful wife whose hash name is failing me at this moment came after almost a years absence. They had some lame excuses about going to school, alternate weekends in Garmisch but basically they were just excuses. They brought with them a couple who mirror them because one works here in Stuttgart and one works in Garmisch. AD brought a friend whose nerd name is Kirk so there a number of references to Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the Star Trek Enterprise. Finally a new comer from some northeastern state who will be with us for about four months Stimulate Her also attend.

The hash started on or about the appointed hour with the walkers being led by Mama Bear and Dutchy taking the runners. If you want to know what the walkers did you will have to ask Mama Bear. Dutchy being true to form started the hash with a number of check backs and anytime there were stairs we were climbing them. After many hills we made it to the beer stop and for the first time in a while the runners actually beat the walkers.

The next part of the hash took the runners through the woods, around a lake and in to Sindelfingen. The only odd thing to happen was that GJO some how got lost while checking but I think he was running around the lake to see if there were any nude sun bathers.

The FRB was AD so we need to get a 10 pound weight for him to carry next time. Of course the walkers were already there drinking away.

The circle was some what limited because Dutchy failed to bring enough beer so the Down Downs had to be rationed. Of course he drank for that. There were the usual down downs and the circle finished with wonderful rendition of Swing Low.

The On After was at the Werner Beirgarten in Sindelfingen. About ten people attended the food was good and the beers were even better. We mainly talked about Russian history, American politics, and Boobs. Those of you who did not attend missed out on some intellectual conversations.

The next hash will be hared by Hicky Chick and 2nd Cummin most likely in Hicky's town of Weilemdorf. Until next time.

On On

Horny Rubble

Run No. 329 on the 6th of May 2007

Hares: 2nd Cumin' & Blue Moon Venue: Stuttgart
Your Gentle Hares, Blue Moon and 2nd Cumin' marked a trail that has been called 'Breath-taking' 'Awesome' and 'One of the BEST Trails EVER' (What? WHAT??)  Our pack consisted of Eileen, Dutchy, Horny Rubble, Playground Prowler, Rumple Foreskin, Pink Frits, Wild Cat and Lame Pussy Cat and extra special visitor, all the way from some other country Happy Chappy.  We ran up and away and all around.  Through some lovely shiggy and a couple of parks.  There were views of the city and the Spring Fest, views of churches and gardens and parks.  Some jackasses, I mean short cutting bastards, didn't follow the whole trail.  You know who you are, and so does Allah.  I wouldn't be surprised if there is a plague of itching and burning on your feet by the weeks end. 

Run No. 328 on the 22nd of April 2007

Hares: Blue Moon, BMW & All HAnds On Dick Venue: Feuerbach
Well, Erection Run today. Wild Cat complained, that there are no Hash Reports this lately. I also felt sorry, because when you read after some time these reports, it's a real journey through the past. The run report can be short, only a few words, from everybody who joined the run. But when you read it after some time, this few words give you the topic that you remember that run. And you will like it.

So today, with the 3 hares (1 wore the hare shirt back to front and he didn't remember after I reminded him, that he was elected for the hare raiser) we had a long run. The walkers already were at the beer stop for 1 hour waiting for us. From the beer stop we shortcutted to make the circle and afterwards a BBQ.

We had guest hashers like Automatic Balls from Frankfurt, Schaffhausen, Luxemburg, Köln ...

Was a good run, because really in the forrest............................

On-On, Pink Frits

Run No. 1 in Strassburg on the 15th of April 2007

Hares: Dairy Queen & Greenie Weenie Venue: Strassburg
It was a lurvely spring morning as (oh, crap, I left my list of hashers in the car) anyhoo...as 10 Stuttgart hashers converged on the S-bahn stop in Sindelfingen with visions of Hashing dancing in their heads.  As the convoy set out for the very first Strausbourg Hash the excitement in the air was palpable...OK, I'm exaggerating a little, it's the Red Bull...
 
We arrived at the train station somewhere on the other side of the border and were met by 10 more separatists from Stuttgart and the lovely and talented Greenie Weenie.  After a 20 Euro pee break, we were ready to HASH!!!
 
We met up in a lovely little park and set off on a trail that included bridges, swans, bridges, a beer stop, a REALLY long straight-away, a Hash Splash in the aromatic Rhine and bridges.  At the end of it all that lovely amber beverage awaited!  Ain't life grand?
 
Dairy Queen RA'd and wasn't she just lovely?  We welcomed 5 virgins, Jamile from Puerto Rico, Oliver (pronounce it all French-like, for the love of mike) from France, and Helen from Russia; Greenie Weenie made them come (ho).  We also welcomed the lovely r*nner Carmen and the Milkshakin' Jennifer (Blue Moon made Carmen cum and Jennifer was a 4 hasher effort.)
 
After polling the crowd, Puck You ascertained that the trail was too short, too hot, to long, and didn't include enough Hash Splashin'.  It was mediocre.  (At least they didn't over achieve!!)
 
Violations!  Blue Moon, Horny Rubble and your gentle scribe were violated for taking the opportunity to Hash Splash in the Rhine.  (It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I have a second head growing out of my neck...)  In a weird kind of bounce back action, Dutchy was violated for allowing his kinsmen to drive like 'tards which somehow morphed into all foreigners (those not from or living in France) receiving a tasty down-down.  The wankers...walkers?...WANKERS!!...were violated for slowing up progress. Dairy Queen was violated for losing personal property.  My little notes start to get sloppy here, and all I know for sure is that Pink Fritz and Greenie Weenie were violated for some Hash List Serve Weirdness.
 
At this point, the RA lost interest and brought in Playground Prowler and yours truly to close the circle.  After a rousting 3 round burst of Normal, Frenchish, and Double Time sweet-hymn action we all saddled up and headed for our hosts palatial mansion to enjoy sausages, couscous, salads, chocolate mousse and more bier!!  A great time was had by all!!
 
On-On - 2nd Cumming

Run No. 326 on the 11th of March 2007

Hares: Hickey Chick, Horny Rubble Venue: Stuttgart University
Hello Everybody,
This is my first attempt at writing Hash trash so please forgive me for any grammatical errors, runs on and bad punctuation. Let me start by saying it was a very beautiful day the sun was shinning and the birds were singing. Another reason why it was a beautiful day was because of the number of beautiful women that attended. Mama Bear, One Hot Momma, Blow Job, Babble Bitch, Lame Pussy Cat, Second Cumming, and the fair weather Harriette Hicky Chick. We also had a lovely visitor from the Brussels hash Yark Sucker. I won't mention that she brought her significant other Rumble Foreskin.
As most of you know this Hash was set up by BMW who called it the surpise Hash because there was no hares, possibly no walker trail and no on after planned. We gathered at the appointed hour and at the appointed place. BMW wrote our names on little pieces of paper and placed them in the plunger. From the plunger Lazy Daisy picked a name of the person who will be the Hare for the day. The name that drawn was none other than Hicky Chick.
She was given an envelope with a location to the beer stop, flour, and GPS unit. She was allowed to pick one person to Co Hare and for some reason she choose me. So off we went laying a trail. At this point I do not know what happened to either the runners or walkers so maybe a runner and walker can fill in the gap.
As I was saying off we went I held the GPS unit and navigated our way to the beer stop while Hicky layed the flour. Since this was a live hash we set a lot of checks to keep the runners busy. After much running and weaving through the crowds of people out enjoying the good weather and the park we made it to the beer stop without being caught. Then we waited and waited and waited. After 40 minutes the runners arrived. Except for one. Wild Cat.
From the beer stop we went back to the start where we had the circle. The circle was run by our GM BMW because our RA BM was off skiing. We had our usual down downs but we did forget to do one thing and that was to nominate a person for the plunger. The on after was at a nice resturaunt recommended by Playground Prowler.
We ate, drank and were very merry. That is it.
ON ON
Horny Rubble

Run No. 283 on the 10th of July 2005

Hares: Blue Moon, One Hot Mama Venue: Stuttgart
... great run today. Little bit unlucky with the weather but ah... so what. I enjoyed myself. Looking forward to the camp out! ON ON, All Hands on Dick

Run No. 282 on the 26th of June 2005

Hares: Shanty Man & Not Long Enough Venue: Leonberg
...

Run No. 281 on the 12th of June 2005

Hares: Never Rest & Caroline Venue: Feuerbach
...

Run No. 280 on the 29th of May 2005

Hares: Blue Moon, BMW & All Hands On Dick Venue: Freudental near Bietigheim
...

Run No. 279 on the 15th of May 2005

Hares: Hickey Chick & Horny Rubble Venue: Stuttgart Ditzingen
...

Run No. 278 on the 1st of May 2005

Hares: All Hands On Dick & BMW Venue: Stuttgart, Weilimdorf
No report today because I went to the German Nash Hash in Frankfurt.

Run No. 277 on the 17th of April 2005

Hares: Dairy Queen & Greenie Weenie Venue: Stuttgart
We all met in Stuttgart Hauptbahnhof. Joe and I went there with the S-Bahn from Filderstadt and had a "Bratwurst" before we went to the meeting place at the "i-point". Finally we were about 20 hashers until we started the run at 2.15. Joe and I decided to go on the walkers today, and then we walked. We talked and walked, and maybe after 45 min we reached the beer stop, which actually was the final, I mean we also had the circle there and after that we walked maybe 10 min more to reach our table at the "Frühlingsfest". But already at the circle, the parking place at the "Leuze", we missed Wild Cat and Never Rest. They just got lost. Here the original text after a few days from Wild Cat:

P.S. Der hash zum Frühlichsfest war etwas chaotisch? Das erste mal seit langem ,daß ich "verloren" gegangen bin. Der " Trail" war ab dem BS nicht mehr zu sehen und bin deshalb Never Rest hinterher gelaufen. Er ist einfach Richtung Frühlingsfest gelaufen und sind deswegen alleine vor dem Bierzelt gestanden. Wir sind dann noch " suchen" gegangen,aber dann hatte ich keine Lust mehr ,habe ein Maß getrunken und bin dann heim.

Well, after some time sitting in the tent and enjoying the beer, Never Rest showed up.He knew nothin about Wild Cat. Ok, next week we go to the Nash Hash together and then I will interview Wild Cat. A lot of time for that. In the tent the mood of everybody was getting better and better. The band played good (7 girls), and the beer also tasted sooo good. After some time we were all standing on the bench, singing and prost, prost, prost. Joe brought his camera and I made a lot of pictures, therefore you cannot see me on the pics. Maybe at 9 o'clock Joe, Horny Rubble and I went to the S-Bahn. Horny Rubble got off in Vaihingen, Joe and I continued to Filderstadt where we had a last beer until we went home at about 11 o'clock.

Run No. 276 on the 3rd of April 2005

Hares: Wild Cat & Pink Frits Venue: Winnenden/Bürg
The weather was so super and we expected so many hashers, but only 11 showed up. We had so much beer and "Schnaps", but ok, then we drink it next time. Although somebody complained about the quality of the directions, one hasher found it, coming with public transport from Serbia, where he is stationed, to the run side. It is Tiger Willy. And he proofed, that he not only can find a place, also he is a good runner, always in front, actually a FRB (front running bastard). Another one, Virgin Joe, found the run side by car, late, but he didn't give up. He drove around for two hours, and then he met us finally at the second beer stop. Yes, we had 2 beer stops. Blow Job, that's her hash name, today was the only walker. But we could convince her with Blue Moon's running shorts to go on the runners trail. The run today was only in the woods and most the time not on a path, I mean no way which you could define as a way. Straight through the forrest. Unfortunately there were some wild animals who liked to eat flour (bears, flour snakes etc.) and one of them even used a broom (we found the traces of wiping) to let the flour disappear. Fortunately the hares joined the run so we could from time to time give a hint to the pack. We needed about 1 hour and 10 minutes to the beer stop where I parked my car full of beer and snacks. This time I didn't get a ticket from the police. To the next beer stop up the hill at the tower we only needed 10 minutes and the waitress from the restaurant welcomed us with another beer. Some were so thirsty, like the beer masters Greenie Weenie and Dairy Queen that they went for a second one. But also to welcome Virgin Joe, who just arrived, that he must not drink alone with the new draft. Another 10 minutes and we were back where we started. Up the hill with sunshine. The circle was like always very much entertaining, not to forget Ancient Boner, who contributed with action the wanking song. The On-On was then in the restaurant where we already had the second beer stop with 8 remaining hashers. And the food was great. Not Pizza, no, real "Schwäbisch Food" for a good price and a friendly waitress. Wild Cat and I ate wild pork (you know, what Obelix is always eating) And Virgin Joe and Tiger Willy had lamb chops. It's a pity that we always have to drive home. Otherwise on a day like this we could end up in disaster, but this is what actually is good for a hash. So, On-On and see you next time. The summer season started and you really miss something if you only miss one hash.

Run No. 275 on the 20th of March 2005

Hares: All Hands On Dick & Blue Moon Venue: Sachsenheim bei Bietigheim
The spring surprised us, also Electric Click, who showed up after a long time. I think the last 
time he was here when he got his Hash name. On the last hash it was so cold, and today so warm with sunshine. We were almost 15 runners, but only two walkers. The runners started going to the train station and there we waited for the train which took us 10 min away from our starting point. Right after we left the train, there were many falsies and we lost already Horny Rubble, who then followed his feeling and headed straight back to the car park where he was waiting for us. The run was ok, the beer stop and the circle also, like always. Nothing special happened. The On-On was in an Italian Restaurant where we had really good food... and a bottle of wine which Wild Cat sponsored.

Run No. 274 on the 6th of March 2005

Hares: Mama Bear & Baerleschnuckler Venue: Filderstadt
It would be nice if somebody could mail me a few words what happened on this Hash because I could not attend.

Run No. 273 on the 20th of February 2005

Hares: BMW & He She Geek Venue: Stuttgart Feuerbach
Since the 20th of December it's actually snowing. So on the last hash we met again in Feuerbach at the Obi Market and like last time everybody had difficulties to find it. But that's also because there are many one way roads.
We were 7 runners and I believe 6 walkers. The runners made between 10 and 12 km. After 10 minutes already we lost the track. A few ran to the left, the hare told me: go straight.
But I also was lost. After we all (7 runners) met then somewhere, we suddenly found an arrow on a dust pin pointing to the left... and it looked fresh and also was confirmed later by the hare.
When we reached the beer stop, the walkers just left 5 min ago and they took the beer with them. Blue Moon and All Hands On Dick, who arrived there before me, formed a beer bottle out of snow and gave it to us. Good will, but no beer.
We headed back as fast as possible of course. On our way back, the hare BMW in his Opel, came towards us but didn't stop. Hare on the run, even in the car, was a down down later in the circle.
The circle was like always entertaining and really not too cold. Of course, you cannot drink more than one beer... yeah... maybe it was cold.
Let me remark on this place that I miss the GM in the circle.
At the On-On in the Wichtel Brewery we were 7, I think only the runners. We had good Pizza and home made beer and talked about sport. Geriatric Jerk Off told us how he keeps fit and that tomorrow he starts his new job in Garmisch. He works there in a school and he couldn't describe his job really, searching for the right words. So I said: Ah, you're the housemaster! Because normally in a school are only teachers and housemasters. But no, he's somehow a manager there. Anyway, I hope he will find his way back to us when he comes home to see his family and he shall bring the family also to our hash.
Talking about Geriatric's Fitness, All Hands On Dick came up with the idea to join the half marathon in Heilbronn on the last weekend in May. We will show up there all with the same Hash Shirt and we show them how we can run. Good idea. I will start training tomorrow.

Run No. 272 on the 6th of February 2005

Hares: Dutchy & Long Shanks Venue: Darmsheim
So, now it's done. Hans has a Hash name. Suggested was Sperminator, Snow Balls and Hansiball. From now on he will be called: "All Hands On Dick". This comes from the Navy. When there is a war case or something, all the soldiers are called on board. All hands on deck.
With minus five degree Hans had to take off many of his clothes and the Harriettes helped him. Everybody poured flour and beer over him and he stood up as All Hands On Dick. Actually he ran up chasing everybody to hug. This action made him warm again. Then the circle was fast over because everybody felt cold. And All Hands On Dick went home with the hare Dutchy to take a shower before almost 20 hashers met in the Pizza Restaurant where we also were last time in November when Duchty also was the hare.
The run description was again not correct. You must have had a bit feeling to find the Supermarket. Although it was very cold, more than 25 hashers showed up and 2 virgins. One was Shanty Man's wife Shannon. He got married on the 15th of January in Hawaii. The other one was the new girlfriend of Astroglide, Silvy.
The run was not too long because of the weather maybe and the beer stop was too short. We had problems to finish our beer so fast. Or we didn't have much time because we needed our time to eat the fried noodles which Dutchy's wife prepared for us. Like last time, it tasted super.
The spring will come and this will make hashing nicer again. We are all looking forward for that.

From All Hands On Dick:
Hello everyone, just a short status report:
+ Flour in my eyes.
+ Flour in my ears.
+ Flour in my a... (and for that - Blue Moon - I seek revenge big time, may justice come upon you bloody bastard :-((( ).
+ Flour in my pants.
+ Flour in my shoes.
+ Flour in Dutchy's car.
+ Flour in Dutchy's shower.+ Flour in my shower.+ My car stinks of beer.
On-on to all of you wankers...
All Han(d)s on Dick
PS: Consider this as formal request for the brackets to be part of my name...

Run No. 271 on the 23rd of January 2005

Hares: Mama Bear, Baerlesschnuckler & Chessy Feety Venue: Stetten
The weather was chilli today with icy snowshowers. But we were welcomed with "Glühwein" and expectations for after the run with Glühwein again and Chilli Con Carne and the fire at the fire place in Stetten.
And we really had heavy snow, before, during and after the run. The run itself was OK. Not too long, because it was very cold and at the beer stop we also had Glühwein. We ran in the forest but didn't see any wild animals.
Then I decided to check (or shortcut whatever) and Jeriatric Jerk Off and Hans, (the one who doesn't want a hash name) followed me. Another hasher, I forgot his name now, but  I will mention it later, didn't want to follow us ... then he got lost. He was not even seen in the circle later. Anyway, we really saw a wild herd of deers. I mean, Jeri and I. Hans was busy with checking the way or fighting with the snow flakes. He didn't see the deers. With him, Hans, more and more incidents. Slowly we have to think about his hash name.
The circle was like always entertaining, this time, of course warmer because we stood around the fire. We had a guest hasher, Ken Doll, you know the one from Barbie, and the Munich Hashers like him very much. He arrived early, then he did his own hash before the hash, to get warm, like he said.
We were very happy to see Sexy Knee and Ancient Boner again. I mean, they were in Phuket when it happened. Ancient Boner saw, that the ocean went back. Suddenly the barrier was seen which normally couldn't be seen, 500 meters away from the beach. He said to Sexy Knee: "Run". Every time I think about it I admire Ancient Boner for his fast reaction. I don't know, whether I could think so fast like him.

Run No. 270 on the 9th of January 2005

Sorry, I could not attend the last two hashes. Maybe one of the hashers can mail a small report to me, then I can add this here.

Run No. 269 on the 26th of December 2004

Hares: Shanty Man Venue: Stuttgart Leonberg
A report about this hash I will add later when I got some information from hashers who attended this hash.

Run No. 268 on the 12th of December 2004

Hares: Greeny Weenie & Dairy Queen & Jenny Venue: Stuttgart Feuersee
Today was the Jingle Balls hash but the hares forgot the balls. 20 hashers showed up in the coldness. The runners first ran to the west of Stuttgart with a nice view to town and lots of interesting old buildings. The walkers walked straight to the Christmas Market where we met them and had some Glühwein. The first Glühwein was on the bill of Hash Cash. It's a pity that not so many look at the Stuttgart homepage, because yesterday evening I put up: "If you read this and report to me tomorrow at the Jingle Balls Hash, I pay one Glühwein for all of you." I didn't had to pay.
The circle was like always and Hans still didn't get his hash name. The hares drank a lot but obviously it was too cold. Blue Moon forgot about our last song "Swing Low" and nobody except me realized it.
At the On-On in the nearby Gasthaus Trollinger we were 10 hashers enjoying the good food. Then we started with telling jokes and everybody knew a lot of them. I also knew a lot but I didn't had the chance to tell one because one came right after the other. Maybe next time.

Not everybody could made it to the Feuersee. Following mail reached me today:
Hey, we were at the Feursee Sbahn stop at 2:05. Is there really a Rotebuel Str. exit? 'cause we went out all the exits & didn't see you, then went back to Stadtmitte where there is a Rotebuel exit and walked all over that place, then walked from Stadtmitte to Feursee, and saw nothing, then just wandered aimlessly and got our hopes up for nothing after we saw a huge flour splotch in a pedestrian zone, then there was further NOTHING.SO, we gave up, got a drink, took the kid to the babysitter and went to Biddy's.
Where were you wankers?
TR, CumsOna Hawg & Rotkaeppchen

Run No. 267 on the 28th of November 2004

Hares: Ailane & Blue MoonVenue: Böblingen
Good again today. Not so cold like last time and over 20 hashers and the most time we ran in the forest what we all liked.

Run No. 266 on the 14th of November 2004

Hares: Sperm Blocker & Hans Venue: Besigheim
Very cold again, of course not when we are running. And this time we had a lot to run, but with only 12 to 15 hashers. Maybe the rest thought, it's too cold today. We ran around Besigheim to the beer stop which was 9 km. After that 2 more km very nice running and a good view the whole time. After the run Dutchy had to go back on trail to search his car keys which he found then at the beer stop. In the circle the hares had about 10 down-downs because of many reasons. Sperm Blocker brought back the "Pümpel" and added a bag for condoms (sperm blocker). The On-On was in an Italian Restaurant in the ancient part of Besigheim with Dutchy, Shanty Man, Hans, Sperm Blocker, Pink Frits and BMW, who just came back from a Nicaragua Hash Trip.

Run No. 265 on the 31st of October 2004

Hares: Mama Bear & Baerlesschnuckler Venue: Neckartailfingen
The run started as usual later. Nobody expected that good weather with so much sunshine after the rainy days before. We were about 25 hasher and most of them on the run. At the beer stop we met the few walkers and later at the Schnaps stop again. The On-On today was at the lake where we had after the circle a few sausages. Because it was getting cold after it was dark, everybody left very fast. I was still discussing with somebody when I found out that I was alone.

Run No. 264 on the 17th of October 2004

Hares: Dutchy & Long Shanks   Venue: Darmsheim near Böblingen
The weather was cold again and we even saw a little snow. We were less than 20 hashers but the runners had a good run. First in town, then in the forest. After the short circle with nothing special happened, the rest including me (7 people) went to the On-On in a nearby Pizza place. We are all looking forward to the cold winter.........

Run No. 263 on the 3rd of October 2004

Hares: Hickey Chick & Blue Moon  Venue: Bergheim near Vaihingen
This time we tried to catch the hares because it was a life hare run. But who knows Blue Moon also knows that his way of laying the flour can be very missleading and so it was. But, good run. Not so much running, but a lot of checking, going back again, and the highest check back was 18 checks. Then the beer stop where the life hare run ended and after that we walked back to the cars all together.40 hashers show up today and a lot of virgins. Geriatric Jerk Off celebrated his 45th run With SH3 and Josefine got her Hash Name: "Sperm Blocker". Her boyfriend waited one time 90 minutes until she let him into her house, so therefore the name.

Run No. 262 on the 19th of September 2004

Hares: One Hot Mama & Viagra Falls  Venue: Tübingen
Nice run again, short and sometimes many stairs to go up. Beer stop and the On-On in a very nice pizza place.

Run No. 256 on the 11th of July 2004

Hares: Sole Sucker & Nat Pole  Venue: Filderstadt-Harthausen
Well, last time we had something special which on that hot day was the barrel of beer out of the selfcooling barrel in "Wild Cat's" house. This time the weather was dammned cold but after the circle we had a hot BBQ with sausages and steaks. Around the grill it was warm and around the fire place, too. It was the birthday of "Sole Sucker". She welcomed us already with Champagne.
The run started as usual a little bit later, so that every hasher can make it." Capote" for example arrived 10 min later although this time he only had 6 km to drive. "Geriatric Jerk Off" and "Pees Like A Horse" this time only could make it to the BBQ.
The run was very nice. The temperature perfect for running. We crossed the fields towards the village of Grötzingen and hashed in the deep forrest, crossed rivers and 100 hills until we reached the beer stop on top of a hill where we had a wonderful view to the "Schwäbische Alb", and - far behind the other hill- the place where we started. Sometimes it rained a little bit but it was not too cold.
The circle was like always entertaining. This time with two guest hashers from the states and "Wild Cat" brought back the "Pümpel". I think he practised drinking out of it because he didn't complain and he could drink out of it without wasting beer. The circle was a little bit shorter today because "BlueMoon" saw big black clouds coming from France. But we didn't have rain anymore, only beer, more bottles of champage and that bottle of red wine which "Sole Sucker" got from "Viagra Falls" but somehow disappeared slowly in my body. I can say, it was a really good wine. Prost "Viagra Falls".

Run No. 255 on the 27th of June 2004

Hares: Wild Cat & Pink Frits  Venue: Winnenden
29 Hashers  showed up, even Shaky Tits. Remember, he was lost in April shortly before the beer stop and never seen again.
The weather was very warm and humid and like always, there were two trails, one for the runners and one for the walkers. Somehow the number of walkers increased after the beer stop. Maybe it has something to do with the barrel of beer in Wild Cats house, which was then empty.
Then, from the "Schnaps Stop" onwards there were only walkers left and they arrived all at the same time back at the parking lot. Maybe this has something to do with the Schnaps from Pink Frits which was selfmade over 20 years ago from plums in the garden. This Schnaps makes immediately after drinking all your body hair standing, but it's good, like medicine. Sole Sucker brought back the "Pümpel" with a whistle which shines at night and Wild Cat got the "Pümpel" to add something for next time. Nat-Pole had new shoes and drank out of it two times. The GM brought some new hashers and they showed a body part and Wild Willie was laying in the circle and for the down-down we had to lift him up from the floor.
After the circle (this time it was more a line, because the sun was so hot and almost everybody stood in the shadow) we were missing Sabine, Wild Willie and Geriatric Jerk Off. We don't know why. Maybe Sabine was shocked because Achim, Wild Cats brother got his hash name and soon it's her time to get a hash name. Achim was full of flour and beer and from now on he will be called: "Electric Clit".
The circle ended at 18.45 and then we went nearby to the Greek Restaurant where we had good and cheap food and fresh beer.
Fivers: 85 Puck You and He She Geek 45 Sole Sucker 40 Pink Frits 15 Wild Cat 15 Wild Willie

Run No. 254 on the 13th of June 2004

Hares: One Hot Mama, Viagra Falls & Blue Moon  Venue: Kusterdingen
The weather was actually good. A little bit wet but still OK. We had 3 new hashers from Ohio, Georgia and Washington, John, Matt and Ryan, who contributed in the circle with action and body parts which Sole Sucker liked a lot. The run was very nice because mostly we were running in the forest. Unfortunalety I had my new shoes on and they became dirty on their first run. In the circle I had to drink out of my shoe and I forgot complety to drink with my left hand. So I drank again the second filling with my left hand. Almost at the end of the run I was overtaken by Geriatric Jerk Off who came late but still tried to catch up with the pack.

Run No. 253 on the 30th of May 2004

Hares: He She Geek   Venue: Near Sindelfingen
No hash report today from my side about the run because Blue Moon and I joined the German Nash Hash in Hannover. But we made a test there:
Beer contains female hormones
Recently a lot was reported that beer contains female hormones.
At the last Nash Hash 10 hashers:
(Pink Frits, Blue Moon, Easy Rider, Little Adonis, Knickerless, Maradonna, Shit Head, The Wolf, Booze and Fuck Off) were able to make a test whether this is true and they drank 10 beers and at the end following we found out:

1. We gained weight
2. We talked a lot without saying anything
3. We had problems when we were driving
4. It was impossible for us to think even small things logically
5. It was impossible for us to admit something although we were not right
6. Everybody of us believed we are the centre of the universe
7. We had headache and no feeling for sex
8. Our emotions were hardly to control
9. We hold our hands each other
10. And finally: every 10 minutes we had to go to the toilette – and all at the same time.
    This was the proof: Beer contains female hormones!

Run No. 252 on the 16th of May 2004

Hares: Adolf Vice & his better half   Venue: Affalterbach near Winnenden
The description to the run side was a complicated story with a lot of words and numbers, but 100 % correct for every meter.
The run started as usual later. Frank With Beans called up and asked us to wait cause he forgot that Sunday is a Hashing Day. Shaky Tits is still missing. On the run on the 18th of April between the start and the beer stop he was seen last time. After the runners ran ahead, the walkers slowly found their way, too. We met them after nice running in the forest and over meadows and a nice view over the whole country at the first beer stop like planned. The walkers missed the Schnapsstop, but we runners saw them sweating while we were drinking the "Applecorn". The next beer stop was at the house of the hare and many pictures and even videos were made also by the father of Adolf Vice.
The weather was nice in the sun, but later at the On-On in the shadow very cold. Only Wild Willie had another opinion about that.
Today we had a visitor from a newspaper, Sabine. She wrote down a lot and made many pictures. She joined the walkers, the circle and the On-On.
The circle was entertaining like always. Taco Balls still didn't show up and the Pimpel is still with him. Scientists found out that BMW-drivers have the most sex and Porsche drivers almost no sex. So Dairy Queen and Wild Cat had to stand in for that with a down-down.
There was no hare for the next hash on the 30th of May, so Blue Moon appointed He She Geek who will set the run. On the 30th is the Nash Hash in Hannover where Blue Moon, Wild Cat and Pink Frits will go.
Adolf Vice and family: thanks for your contributions during your stay in old Germany and thanks for being the hare. Good time in Canada and come back again.

Run No. 251 on the 2nd of May 2004

Hares: Dutchy & Longshanks  Venue: In the area of Sindelfingen
The description to the run side was not so correct. I think nobody found the parking place immediately. The hares got a down-down for that. The run itself was good. A lot of running, checking, and the track through nice forest.
This hasher Adolf Vice with his Canadian wife and his son also found the parking place. On the next hash on the 16th of may he will be the hare in the area where he is from which is somewhere near Winnenden.
Dutchy went with the walkers and Longshanks leaded the runners. At this point it is to mention that it is always difficult, stressful and a long day for the hares cause they have to lay the trail starting already in the morning at 9 or 10 o’clock and then accompany the whole pack in the afternoon. Of course it is better this way. But I would volunteer more often to be the hare if I could relax in the afternoon and only care for the beer stop.
The weather was nice and sunny and the circle like always entertaining. Adolf Vice also contributed and you could see that he has some circle experience from Toronto. In his own words: ”I am better in drinking than in running.” And this is exactly the original definition of the a real hash: “A drinking club with a running problem.”
Geriatric Jerk Off was back with his wife, the New-American Pees Like A Horse, who both enriched the circle with their contributions.
During the short walk from the circle to the On-On we saw a police couple standing near their bicycles in a bicycle dress which really looked funny. Geriatric Jerk Off could not hide his feelings but the police couple kept quiet. I think they also know how they looked like.
Then we sat down outside of that Chinese Restaurant. The owner is from Tunesia and a friend of Dutchy. Or Dutchy is his best customer. Dutchy always ordered No. 83. I found out then that No. 83 is simply a beer. I also like 83, but 69 is better.
Wild Cat and Capote smoked a water pipe and Geriatric Jerk Off was sitting like a Pasha and watching the people passing by. The bicycle police also came along and Geriatric Jerk Off again was laughing at them and wishing a good ride.

Run No. 250 on the 18th of April 2004

Hares: Dairy Queen, Greenie Weenie, Corey   Venue: Stuttgart Messe Parking Lot 12
First of all, thanks for being the hare today. Dairy Queen volunteered on the last Hash cause there was nobody. And this is a part of the e-mail which we got from Greenie Weenie: "I don't know what possessed DQ when she volunteered to put on the HASH on the 18th of April but that means that I've got to do it, maybe, I'll get the boy, just Corey, to help me out."
OK, I am just back from the Hash drinking my second Ouzo after this big pot of lentils in the "Holzwurm", where the On-On was.
Before the Hash, when I arrived at the parking lot, this man asked me to pay 5 € for the parking. Greenie Weenie was also surprised. I suggested then to drive a little bit further to check another parking place. There was no. But there was a speed trap where I went in with almost 70 km/h. Back at the parking lot 12 I then payed 5 € parking. I have to take it. But 5 minutes before 2 o'clock this parking man shut down and called it a day. This gave me the rest. But, the run was nice. After my flu this week I didn't think I could go today at all. Therefore I must praise the magnesium and calcium tablets which I am taking since three days.
We ran around the "Messe" with good falsies which means a lot of checking. A good checker today was Shaky Tits. He checked so long that finally he disappeared. He was never seen again today, not at the beer stop and not in the circle. Back at the parking lot Nr. 12 we found out that his car was gone, too. Well, we will interview him next time. The beer stop was very relaxing today. A little bit longer than usual. Ancient Boner had time to drink two bottles. Because Blue Moon is in Thailand, he called shortly before we started the circle and told Mama Bear to run the circle today. The hashers who got the song book last week got their complete book according to the number of runs they have and other Hashers like Long Shanks also got the song book connected with a Down Down. Capote was late cuming with his family. He just made it to the circle at the same time when Blue Moon called.
Fivers: 10 Getting It Next Week - 20 Nat Pole 25 Dairy Queen

Run No. 249 on the 4th of April 2004

Hares: Pussy Galore & Blue Moon   Venue: Bopserwald in Stuttgart
Pussy Galore invited this time to Bopserwaldstrasse in Stuttgart and Blue Moon was the Co-hare. Bopserwaldstrasse is when you come down the "Weinsteige" to the right (Stuttgart is by the way the only town in Europe where you can see the whole town when you drive to town - by car and street car). From there we started like always 20 min later instead at 2 o'clock. But therefore we had a very nice run in the forest, and who can believe that you meet in town but you hash in the forest? Sometimes I thought I am in Thailand. I only missed the bucket on the trees which collects the rubber to make tyres for Formula 1 or condoms. We had many tricky false trails. But this is always like this when Blue Moon is involved in haring. Fortunately we had a virgin called Sebastian who was very active in checking.The beer stop was too short in my opinion or I was too thirsty. The circle was OK and we introduced our new Hash Song Book.
When you have 10 runs you get the song book with your hash name and 4 pages:
Song No. 2 - 6 plus the last song which is Swing Low. Then every 5 runs you'll get another card with 2 more songs.
When you have completed 60 runs, you'll have the complete book.
The On-On was a little bit up the hill, again, like on the run always, up and down, in a cafe with a good view and potato soup. There we stayed for some time until some got hungry and decided to go to Sielmingen to the "Hirsch". But on the way to the car everybody wanted to go home and rest on the sofa with home made food.
Fivers: 5 Edith - 10 Never Rest - 30 Sole Sucker - 35 Pink Frits - 50 Viagra Falls - 60 Ancient Boner - 60 Sexy Knee - 80 Puck You

Run No. 248 Pub Crawl Hash on the 21st of March 2004

Hares: Anal Recreation & Meow Mix   Venue: S-Bahn Stadtmitte
Well, in short words: It was super. Stuttgart is anyway nice and our GM found the right places to go with so many people. We were over 30 hashers and maybe 7 or 8 virgins.
The first pub was about 100 m distance from where we started, but more than half an hour running until we reached the "Calver Eck". We drank the home made beer from pitchers and our guest hasher from Malaga, Spain also liked it. He's English and his hash name is "Lee Marvin" and he really looks like him.
The second stop was at "Amadeus", the third in a small pub in the "Bohnenviertel" and the last stop was in the "Irish Pub" where we had a super Guiness.
I wondered how our GM paid all the beers from only the 10 € running fee.
Then we went to the circle at the parking place from the tax department.
The On-On was in the Mexican Restaurant around the corner.

Run No. 247 on the 7th of March 2004

Hares: Capote & Blow Job   Venue: Echterdingen
This time no rain and the sun was shining, but still cold and windy. We started from Echterdingen, ran down to Bernhausen where we had the beer stop next to Real. The walkers arrived late, later than the runners. Then the runners started early back through the tunnel under the airfield towards the airport. Because Capote was the hare and he works at the airport, we stopped at the check in where all the prominent's check in when they fly out. It's the VIP Check-In. We got a coffee there and because we are hashers and requested beer, we got beer. The place was so nice but we made it dirty with our hash shoes. But Capote has connections there and we had no trouble. We even got a lift to the next exit at the airport so we didn't had to run so far getting back to Echterdingen, where the circle was scheduled and the On-On in the "Reiterstüble". Unfortunately Blue Moon took his shower at the entrance at the parking place and the owner saw it. He was very angry about the shower which had the result that we couldn't have the On-On there. We then went to the "Waldheim" after the circle at the parking place there.
Our new hasher from America had to leave again, but we didn't let him go without giving him a Hash Name. He's a parashuiter, has something to do with nuclear wappons and golf and his Hash Name now is: German Wings, suggested by He She Geek. Although it was cold, he had to take off his shirt. He was full of flour and beer. But that's the tradition, no matter how cold it is.
Capote left after the first down-down cause familiar reasons.
The GM Anal Recreation announced the next Hash where he is the hare and adviced to take the S-Bahn, because it's a pub crawl starting at the S-Bahn stop "Stadtmitte" on the 21st of March.
The pimple went from Mama Bear to Blue Moon without any competitor and comment because he deserved it because of his puplic shower.
Again, like at the meeting last Friday, the question came up why Blow Jobs name is Blow Job. Nobody knows. Soul Sucker even doesn't know what a Blow Job is. She got a down-down for that but she still doesn't know what a Blow Job is and we still don't know why Blow Jobs name is Blow Job. So, Blow Job, send me a mail and explain. I will add your story in the column "Hash Names" (www.pinkfrits.de) and I hope that one by one we will have all the names explained.
Fivers: 10 BMW - 30 Dutchy - 65 One Hot Mama - 80 He She Geek
Funny Numbers: 33 Pink Frits 44 Anal Recreation and Frank & Beans 111 Mama Bear
Please volunteer for the hash on the 18th of April and the 2nd of May.

Run No. 246, 29th of February 2004 ... the World Hashing Day

Hares: Blue Moon & Blow Job   Venue: Magstadt
Snow, snow, snow. Beer stop and Schnaps stop. Was a good run for me, because this time I didn't drink a beer before the run which makes my legs so tired. The hares used "Holzwolle" (waste from cutting the wood) cause the flour you couldn't see in the snow. This time we had a "diet stop". Everybody found sweets like Mon Cheri and so on. Three pieces and more. Only I found nothing only a "Tannenzapfen" from which I believed it was "Duplo". But Blue Moon also believed it was Duplo. The beer in the circle was damned cold. I remembered my time in Indonesia where you have to drink the beer so fast that it doesn't get warm in that heat there.

Run No. 245 on the 22nd of February 2004

Hares: Astroglide & Ducky Style & Taco Balls   Venue: Hochdorf
Rain, rain, rain. Beer stop and Lumumba stop.

Run No. 244 on the 8th of February 2004

Hares: Never Rest & Big Moped Wanker Venue: Feuerbach
Actually I was not expecting that the weather turned out so good ... and also the run... conversation... circle and so on. I enjoyed a lot the almost 3 hours of running. We had snow sometimes but this was better than rain. At the end in the circle it rained, so we went to the brewery pub for the On-On with good beer and "Wichtel Pizza." I ordered one, but didn't get it. My stomach was full of stolen pieces from Wild Cat  and the new hasher who doesn't have a Hash Name. And I enjoyed my beer. Astroglide showed up after half a year and he got the "Pimpel" to add something for next time. He is also the hare on the next run.
Shanty Man left us again for the third time. He is going to Napels for about half a year, defending somebody. So the verdict: Fucking Good Run.
Wanna know what "Pimpel" is? Then show up next time!!!

Run No. 329 on the 22nd of April 2007

Hares: B Venue: F
W

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